Exploring Mommyhood

A single mother on her journey through life- the good, the bad, and the ugly!

27 January 2010

Wordless Wednesday

This is my mom, Claire & I at the zoo
this past summer- Claire's first trip.
Apparently that pretzel was extremely tasty
since she couldn't look at the camera!

25 January 2010

Not Me Monday!

Who? Me? NEVER!!
As of 10:20pm last night, I certainly was not frantically rushing around to complete an online testing assessment, a 5-page worksheet for clinical and review for two quizzes, all of which are TODAY. Nope. I had all of this stuff done way ahead of time, completely finished by last week. Huh-uh. Not me!!

23 January 2010

The Journey of Caring

While working on the beginning of a project, I thought it might be interesting to share the project with you as it progresses.

I have a semester-long project to complete, called "The Journey of Caring". According to my syllabus: The "Journey of Caring" is an interactive approach to assist beginning nursing students to explore the art of nursing in addition to the science while developing clinical decision making skills. The journey will prepare you to recognize issues experienced by older patients and their families as they navigate the health care continuum. The project involves not only the art of nurisng but also addresses the general education skills of writing, interaction with the public, economics, nutrition, ethics, values, social issues, and problem solving. The project allows you to gain basic information about the health care environment outside the hospital while also building your time management skills. The project will include the use of communication tehcniques and understanding of yourself and how that knowledge might impact your relationship with clients."

The first part of the JOC project was to write a paper about "The Art of Nursing"-- reflecting on why we chose to become a nurse, our perception of what a nurse is, describe what caring means to us with a personal example to support the description, and to address how we feel about aging.....


Journey of Caring
The Art of Nursing

As cliché as it sounds, I still believe that nursing is all about “helping people.”

I was seven years old when I first decided what I wanted to be “when I grow up”, and I haven’t changed my mind even once over the last twenty years. My mother was in an extremely serious car accident, and when she was released from the hospital, she and I stayed with my grandparents until she was completely recovered. It was there that I dutifully helped my grandmother change my mother’s positions, clean her up, and change her bandages every single day. In the niaveness that only a young child can possess, I truly thought that I was solely responsible for her progress; and although I was saddened by her injuries, by the end of her recovery period, I had decided that I wanted to be a nurse.

One of my first patients as an STNA was a 36 year old male who had been completely paralyzed from the shoulders down from a motorcycle accident. When he first entered my facility, he was a complete-care patient, requiring a Hoyer lift to transfer him and a very minimum of two staff members to assist with any type of care. He was at the facility for a full three months. On the day he was discharged, I wheeled him to the front door for his ride home. He stood up from his chair and WALKED to the vehicle with the help of walker. Although I know that the therapy department played the biggest role in getting this patient to that point, that moment to me was everything that nursing is about.

Regardless of what the task is, how long it’s going to take, or how difficult it’s going to be, we as nursing staff are there to help the patients who need us. It’s our job to accept them at their worst/weakest condition and to do everything in our power to either bring them back to their best or to make them comfortable and dignified until they can no longer survive in that condition.

As a typical person, there is a part of me who doesn’t have any problem with getting older. I welcome the Hallmark idea of growing old with my husband, having a large family of children and grandchildren who come over for Sunday dinner every week after church, and doing cliché “old person” things like knitting, playing bingo, and doing crossword puzzles.

And then I go to work. I take care of people as young as 60 years old all the way into their 90’s. I see the 60-year-old who looks like she’s in worse shape than the 94-year-old because she cannot function physically or very well mentally—she drools, she can’t speak, she can’t feed herself, her food is pureed so she doesn’t choke, her main source of transportation is a wheelchair because she can’t walk, she’s incontinent, and she can’t even do something as simple as scratching her nose if she has an itch. I turn the corner and see the 94-year-old walking down the hall without the assistance of even a walker. She’s walking to the dining room for dinner, except she doesn’t know where the dining room is even though it’s right in front of her and she thinks she’s going to her grandmother’s house to bake cookies. She’s rambling something to the effect of “Grandma likes when I help her bake cookies because the elephants can’t come into the bathtub and take them”.

It’s the lives I see when I’m at work that make me dread getting older. I like to think that because I take care of the people who suffer from Alzheimer’s and dementia, that God will never punish me with such a terrible mind and body stealer; that I will be spared of such a horrible experience so that I can live freely to experience those Hallmark moments in my golden years.

Saturday Smile

{This post idea was taken from "Sticky Notes", another mommy
blog I enjoy reading. You can find the blog here:

22 January 2010

"Because I Said So"

DIET STARTS MONDAY. AGAIN.

I recently got on the scale for the first time in a month and came to the shocking realization that I'd gained a lot. I have no idea how this happened. I mean, my diet is exemplary. Today, for example, I had two cups of cream with a little coffee for flavor and a doughnut that was stale, so I'm sure sure it doesn't count. At church, we celebrated a birthday with cake after the worship service. I think the cake was blessed, and holy cake can't have many calories. Of course, I had to finish my son's slice as well: waste not, want not. For lunch I had a peanut butter sandwich, about seventy pretzels (but they were the little skinny stick kind, so they don't count) and half of my weight in chocolate. The chocolate didn't even taste good, and if you don't enjoy the food you're eating, you don't have to count those calories. I had a big, fat cheeseburger for dinner, along with enough fries to keep Idaho in business, but I ate while standing up and doing dishes because I was in a hurry to leave and play chauffeur to my daughter, and everyone knows that food consumed while standing doesn't count. Plus, I washed it all down with a Diet Coke, which negates the calories in the cheeseburger, so really I think I should be losing weight.

SLEEPING LIKE A BABY

Sleeping like a baby. Now, tell me, who on earth came upw ith that nonsense? Talk about an oxymoron. I haven't had a full night's sleep in fourteen years!

The minute you see that positive pregnancy test, you can pretty much give up on a good night's sleep for the rest of your life. Sleep deprivation is a way of life for parents. I'm saying that sleep deprivation is a way of life for parents instead of moms because I don't want to leave out the one father in Passaic, New Jersey, who actually gets up with his baby. For the rest of you moms, who walk around like zombies all day because you've only had thirty-five minutes of sleep, you are not alone. Why do you think Starbucks is so popular?

It all starts in pregnancy. Some say the sleeplessness of pregnancy is just the body's way of preparing us for the sleepless nights that lie ahead once the baby arrives. I say it's a cruel joke designed to make us question our decision to have a child.

For anyone who has never been pregnant and can't understand how pregnancy could cause difficulty sleeping, try this: Eat your weight in salt and walk twenty miles. That should sufficiently swell your ankles. Next, eat fifteen extra-hot burritos to make sure you get a whopping case of heartburn. Then do a little weight-lifting. A dead lift of five hundred pounds should do the trick to make your back feel almost as bad as a pregnant woman's. Before retiring for the night, drink a fifty-five-gallong drum of water to ensure you'll have to get up to pee every five minutes all night long. Finally, as you lie down to sleep, put a twenty-pound watermelon on your stomach. Sweet dreams!

After the baby is born, when the physical discomforts of pregnancy are gone, you still don't get a full night's sleep. You know the baby will wake up during the night. After all, you took the classes. You know the drill. You were warned that your precious newborn would wake up to eat in her first few weeks of life, but nothing really prepares you for the sleep loss that new moms experience. Imagine a smoke alarm that goes off two inches from your head in the middle of the night. The only way to turn the incessant wailing off is to carry it around with you for an hour.

I'm sorry to say that it doesn't get much better as the kids get older. Instead of getting up to eat, they get up because it's storming, or because they've had bad dreams, or because they need to tell you something they forgot to tell you five hours earlier when everyone was awake.

When older kids get up in the middle of the night, they don't scream and cry. You think that would be a plus, don't you? It isn't. What older kids do is walk into your bedroom, stand with their face a mere inch away from yours, and then proceed to stare at you until somewhere, in the deep recesses of your sleeping brain, you sense them there and crack open your eyelids to a pair of giant eyeballs staring at you. This scares the living daylights out of you, and you will not be able to get back to sleep for at least an hour- and probably only with the aid of some nitroglycerin pills.

Then there are the kids who like to stall when it's time to go to bed. Every night, it's the same routine. "Can I have a drink of water? Will you read me one more story? I have to go to the bathroom. Can I have another glass of water? Mom, where do monkeys sleep? Can I have another glass of water? Can you help me find my teddy bear? Why does the sun go down at night? Can I have a snack? I have to go to the bathroom again. How old are you, mom? Can I have another glass of water? Why do you look so tired, Mom?"

Perhaps you'll be blessed with children who sleep through the night and don't give you too much grief about going to bed. Even still, once you become a mom, you probably won't get a full eight hours of sleep on a regular basis. When your child is a baby, you'll lie awake, gazing at their perfect little faces. You'll periodically lay your hand on their chest, checking for the reassuring rise and fall of their breathing. You'll worry about your child's health and whether her growth will be stunted if she lives on ketchup and M&M's for a month. You'll worry about his social development: Will he be an outcast forever because he bit another kid at preschool? As they grow older, your worries will change. Am I really ruining my daughter's life by not buying her a cell phone? They'd better be home by curfew. I hope they make wise choices. I pray they don't get in a car accident. And you'll still lie awake and worry about them.

With all that extra awake time, you could do something productive such as scrub your floors, pay bills, or catch up on reading. I personally like to watch my children sleep. They look so angelic when they're sleeping. Somehow those kids who were running around like little maniacs just an hour ago now look so peaceful, so sweet, that I forgot how just an hour ago they were flinging pudding at the ceiling. When they're asleep, I can easily remember why I love this job.

From: "Because I Said So" by Dawn Meehan

The Love of My Life!

After breakfast, Claire usually curls up in the living room chair to watch cartoons while I'm getting ready in the bathroom in the mornings. I got done and called out to her that it was time for her to get dressed. No response- which isn't completely abnormal because she's usually too involved in the cartoon to answer. So what do I see when I walk around the corner to repeat myself?

LOVE MY MUNCHKIN!!!


20 January 2010

Wordless Wednesday


{This post idea was taken from "little running feet", another mommy blog that I
enjoy reading. You can find the blog here: http://littlerunningfeet.blogspot.com/}

19 January 2010

A Little Catching Up Before #3!

Since Claire will be turning 3 in a few months, I thought I would share her first two birthdays with you.

For her first birthday, we did a Winnie the Pooh Theme and had it here at the house. This was my munchkin for breakfast that morning, not exactly thrilled.

My mom and I went all out for the party-- tons of decorations, food, and we even melted colored chocolates to make into molds of the #1, Pooh himself, and balloons. I wish I could say I'm talented enough to have made the cake myself, but I left that up to the local Buehler's....



Speaking of cake....


(notice how Pap-Pap and Pa rush to save the little princess while Mommy takes pictures! lol)

Claire's second birthday was held at a local park that has a 30,000 square foot playground and awesome picnic area. The theme was Ladybugs, and a friend of a friend made the cake for me, which turned out even cuter than I imagined it!


(Claire with her friend Abby from school)

(Claire with her "gnama")

18 January 2010

Not Me Monday


Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ (I have yet to figure out how to link her website to just one word or phrase such as "her blog" so that you can just click on "her blog" and go to her page, so I'm doing it this way for now. Anyone who knows how to do this, please fill me in!)

I was not in bed by 9pm last night and I certainly did not sleep until 10am this morning. Really. I did not hit the snooze button when the alarm went off at 10 and I did not sleep even more until 11am. Nope. Not me. (Hey-- don't knock it people. I have a 2 1/2 year old that usually wakes me up no later than 7am on days that we don't have to get up earlier for school, so I fully welcomed her extra visit with her dad for the "holiday" and took full advantage of it!)

Which means...

I was not eating breakfast at 11:30am and I did not stay in my pajamas until almost 1pm. Noooooo sir-eee.

I did not totally ignore my reading assignments this weekend.

And I did not spend 5 extra minutes sitting next to my munchkin's bed rubbing her forehead and hair to get her to fall asleep instead of making her tough it up like a big girl and go to sleep on her own because she made me feel bad that "I missed you Mamma" and didn't feel very good. And I did not love all 300 seconds of it.... yeah, who am I kidding?!

15 January 2010

Well, I successfully completed my first week of the semester. What have I learned so far?

That a day of lectures followed by a 7-hr clinical wasn't the best scheduling idea I've ever had.

An Anatomy & Physiology lecture that lasts an hour and a half is TOO LONG.

Walsh University is dyslexic.

I think that about covers it. Sad, huh? What's really sad is that I am already behind in reading. So guess what I'll be doing during any free time this weekend? Yup, you guessed it. Playing with Claire!

*************************************************
Speaking of Claire, I have to give her HUGE props... she left the house today wearing -- ready for this? -- big girl underpants!! She's been successfully going potty all week and insisted on wearing her big girl underwear when she got dressed this morning. I didn't want to discourage her from wearing them, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she is staying on track at her dad's today and still has them on when she comes home tonight. Where did my baby go?!
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My treat this week? A new book (yeah, like I have the time to read anything other than a nursing book!):
It's written by a mom of 6 (six! Could you just imagine!?) who has taken on a witty perspective to parenthood. Apparently she was selling a baseball on EBay and attached the story of how it caused craziness in her kids to the auction-- her story attracted over 220,000 people and she ended up selling the baseball for $1,125! Ehh... it was a buck fifty- I figured why not? I'll let you know how it is and I'm sure I'll be adding a few excerpts down the road.

Have a great day everyone!

11 January 2010

Must. Have. Coffee.

So. I'm sure you know. I had to get up at 4:45 this morning. AM. Yup. Got up... got myself ready... had to get the munchkin up at 5:45 because she now takes just as long to get ready as I do. Why? Hmph. Wake her up. Let her spend 5 minutes stretching. Coax her out of bed. Go pee. Put the sticker on the chart. Get dressed. Run around the house looking for Pap-Pap even though she knows he's already at work. Go eat some yogurt (a full breakfast is at school, it's not like I'm making her starve until lunch!). Actually sit down with a cup of tea for myself. But then hear "I haffa pee". Go pee. Put the sticker in just the right box. Ok so now she's ready for her coat and shoes. But wait. I'm still in my pajamas. Better put my scrubs on. Go warm up the car (mental post-it: really need to look into cheap remote start deals!). Get her loaded. Drop her off at school. Must. Have. Coffee. Strong Coffee. On the highway with crazy semi drivers. Parking decks suck. Which class is my first lecture in? Found it. OMG it's barely 8am. Back to back lectures from 8am-12:15pm. Lunch with the group in the cafeteria. 2pm: Clinical. Only this first one of the semester isn't on the floor. Nope. One by one, we go into the simulated "Meti" patient lab. 20 minutes to do a complete head to toe assessment and 10 minutes to long-hand chart. Did I mention the rest of the group is back in the classroom WATCHING me on video to critique me? Blah. Nine people. Half hour each. LONG time. BORING time. OMG give me something to DO! 6pm. Still not done with everyone. Go to dinner in the cafeteria- again. Finish Meti's. Math test. Hope I got a 90 so I can pass meds. If not, take it again next week. Whatever. Go over syllabus for clinical. Find out that I have to make a special trip BACK to the hospital to turn in my paperwork by 4pm the day after clinical. Fantastic. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. I pretty much stopped listening after that point. Everyone is crabby and giving each other "looks" for little things like tapping our nails or pens on the desk. We're tired. Shit it's cold outside. Finally home. And yet here it is. 11:15pm and I'm writing a blog instead of melting comfortably into my mattress and cozy blankets. Good night. Sleep tight. Leave me a lone!!

10 January 2010

Blah Blah Blah

*WHY is it so cold in this office?! I have the thermostat turned to 88 degrees (yes, folks, that's right- 88) and yet it still feels like it's 40 degrees in here. I think the ice on the tips of my fingers are what's actually typing this.

*Why in the world do people walk around places like Walmart singing aloud to themselves? (True story people- just this afternoon I walked past an older gentleman--50's maybe-- who was singing Lord knows what like he was on the American Idol tryouts!)

* "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" is on the radio and I wish I was at the Dusty right now dancing and shaking my ass to it.

*Spring semester starts tomorrow and I already have 4 chapters to read PLUS anxiety about the calculations test that we have to get a 90% on in order to pass meds this semester. Did I mention this test is tomorrow, on the first day?!

*I could really go for a bowl of the Summer Corn Chowder from Panera Bread right now. It's stupid that they only have it during the summer-- you can still buy good canned corn year-round and who wouldn't want a nice warm bowl of cozy soup?!

*Is Claire dressed warm enough to go out in this frigid cold to come home this evening? Does her dad have her hat on and gloves on and did he make sure to zip her coat all the way up? Did she have dinner yet? (Disclaimer: I know that he is always totally on top of making sure she's dressed appropriately--well, 99% of the time anyway--and these thoughts are not a reflection on his parenting abilities. These are just things that moms worry about!)

*What time do I need to get up in the morning? Let's see... I have to be in class by 8. Which means I want to be parked in the deck by 7:30. Leave Claire's school by 7:15... so get there to drop her off around 7. Which in turn means I have to leave the house by 6:45... get her up by 10 til 6 (she is a hard riser)... OMG I have to get up at 4:45 AM!!!!!

*I hope I don't oversleep in the morning!

These are just totally random thoughts crossing my mind as I sit here, excitedly reading about fluids and electrolytes in books such as "Fundamentals of Nursing" and "Adult Medical-Surgical Nursing". That's right. Be jealous. Be very very jealous.

09 January 2010

Friendship

True and enduring friendships seem more like a rarity these days- not something we should take for granted. Friendships that nurture and support are to be cherished... but are friendships always about making the other person feel good? The challenges of friendship can be stressful. Maybe we have forgotten how to be friends. Maybe we're too self-focused and self-centered, worried about whether our needs are being met, rather than focusing on what we have to give a friend.

We want our friends (especially the ones who are practically like family to us) to reach their full potential, realize their dreams and abilities, and overcome their obstacles. Henry Ward Beecher said "It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love him that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth, that is friendship".


THE ABC'S OF FRIENDSHIP

Always be honest, would you want THEM to lie to you?
Be there when they need you, or you may wind up alone.
Cheer them on, we all need encouragement now and then.
Don't look for their faults, even if you have none.
Encourage their dreams, what would we be without them?
Forgive them, you just MAY do something wrong sometime.
Get together often, misery loves company, so does glee.
Have faith in them, the human animal is remarkable.
Include them, you may need to be included sometime.
Just be there when they need you.
Know when they need a hug, and couldn't you use one?
Love them unconditionally, that is the ONLY condition.
Make them feel special, because aren't we ALL special?
Never forget them, who wants to feel forgotten?
Offer to help, and know when "No thanks" is just politeness.
Praise them honestly and openly.
Quietly disagree, noisy NO's make enemies.
Really listen, a friendly ear is a soothing balm.
Say you're sorry, don't let them assume it.
Talk frequently, communication is important.
Use good judgment.
Verbalize your feelings!
Wish them luck, hopefully good!
X-amine your motives before you "help" out.
Your words count, use them wisely.
Zip your lips when told a secret.

08 January 2010

Random Thoughts of the Day

*I wish MapQuest had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. Also, they really need to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

*Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

*I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

*The letters T and G are very close to each other on the keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

*There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

*I wish my phone's keyboard had certain letters and symbols so that I can talk to my other nurse friends in our new language-- it would be so much shorter!

*Sometimes I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

*LOL has gone from meaning "laughing out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

*I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

*Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."

*How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

*Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

*I find it hard to believe that there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

*Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier and sluttier every year?

*You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

*There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back just a little too far.

*Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

*It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

*I wonder if cops ever get annoyed at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit?

06 January 2010

Pike Stretches, Spider Walks, Summersaults, and More!

Claire had her first Tumbling & Gymnastics class today. She was pretty shy for the first few minutes but it didn't take her long to warm up to the group and jump right in. The class starts off with a welcome song and several stretches, followed today by an obstacle course which included things in which to either crawl through or under, balance beams, and what instantly became her favorite- the trampoline! There was also a ginormous pit filled with sponge blocks that she couldn't wait to jump into. The only thing she didn't jump on board with was a tumbling summersault. We'll work on that before next week's class and hopefully she will do it. Class ended with yet another song and all the kids received a stamp on their hand for participating. Claire informed me on the way out "You cannot take this off Momma- the lady gave it to me, only me!" She thinks she's a big-shot now that she's in this class!

04 January 2010

The Husband Store

The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building. So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store .

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

02 January 2010

Resolutions

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas and a safe and happy New Year! I am welcoming 2010 with open arms, looking forward to what it will bring for me and what I will be able to accomplish.

My New Year's resolutions?

*Be more patient, especially where Claire's independence is concerned-- it might take her 10 minutes to get her socks on, but I should just be glad she's wanting to do it instead of rushing her. (Right?!)

*Gotta loose that baby weight, since Claire is two and a half. I can't really blame the "baby" weight since she's now a toddler and speaking in full sentences. Note to self: Must appoint time in schedule for working out, especially with access to not one but two gyms with school.

*Be more thankful and appreciative of things that others do to help. Even if it's something that annoys me, I have to stop and remember that they are doing it to help and to just say "thank you" and smile.

*To find my place where church is concerned. I have been "visiting" the church where my cousin and her family attends for about 6 months now. I need to speak with someone soon about being saved and joining the church as an official member.

*Another great semester in nursing school! Fall '09 semester GPA: 3.2. Not bad for my first semester after being out of school for a while. But Spring '10's goal? Gotta hit at least a 3.5, if not better.

Please feel free to share your resolutions!!